Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Wayne Porter's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 27th, 2007
12:45 pm	My first real rant in a while... This rant came about in a chat room I frequent. It started with someone posting these video clips...  (CAUTION! Not safe for work!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAwLYJYsa0A http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcuXfFvUQ7w&mode=related&search= Another regular of the channel:  "Lemme test a thought that occured to me... when listening to someone expound on their theories of gender relations, would you think someone with a "PHD in being used by men" or a "PHD in *NOT* being used by men" would be better advice?" Me:  I think I would always trust the one with the better judgement, and in this case, that would be the woman that did not go seek and find every scum sucking, gutter living, lint storing, bastardass-hole within 100 miles and sleep with ONLY them like a whore. "But... <HeMan voice> They... have... the... POWER!!!  </HeMan voice>" Thats bull shit!  Every stable human-being is in controll of his or her own mind.  WE make descisions, WE have to live with them.  Unless that woman was raped or violated it was HER decision to not keep her legs together.  GET OVER IT BITCH!  Move on, find a decent man, quit picking up men in the most seedy bars in town! "Some people do stupid shit because it's easier to not think. They just do what's expected, react, etc." We have evolved past the point of having only instictual reactions.  They still have a concious choice.  They can choose not to think, and it's still their own fault.  Make better decisions.  As soon as all these people realize that they are infact incontrol of their own lives, they might finnaly start making the choices that could better their lives. Yes, there are many people in the world incabable of making their own descisions, or, their brains are wired in a way that would constantly make them make the wrong descision.  I'm not talking about those people, crippiling mental disabilties such as those described should have some, if not all, desicions made for them.  Stable humans can think for themselves.  We are currently the dominant species on the planet, yet we are by far the most troubled. And as for people that enjoy walloing in their self pitty, fuck you!  You've made a mistake, now stop the cycle of continually making the same mistakes and smarten the fuck up!  Even a dog will eventually understand the mentality that 'I keep shitting on the rug and it turns out real bad for me...  I should stop doing that'.  Even a DOG can figure out that the 'choice' of shitting outside is better than the 'choice' of shitting inside.  Any dog that can not should be put down and out of it's mysery. If stupid people could be euthenized, this world would be far less populated.  If inteligence was acctually worth something in this wordl, perhaps we would not need to waste an hour of telivision every day with the Dr. Phil show.  Dont get me wrong, I like him, but really, he's just telling people the same thing any bum on the street could tell them.  We have this mentality that "Oh, he said, and he's famous, so it must be good advice" where as if random joe from down the street says it, the advice just gets shruged off. This mans show has gained more ratings than any other new sydicated series.  He beat friggin Oprah!  And she's got her own magazine.  And the reason he is so popular, is because he has a huge clientel.  He'll never run out of stupid people! Mind you, he does have more than just stupid people on his show, he does from time to time have people with real issues, not just ones that can be solved by thinking for oneself or making smarter descisions. "Sorry, what was that?  What did you say?... ...Yeah, thats what I thought you said.  Here's your sign"  *sign reads 'STUPID'* Stupid people piss me off.  I need more coffee. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
4:15 pm	Well, at least tomorow is not Friday the 13th. Yeah, long time no post, so sue me. Tomorrow I am supposed to be meeting the girlfriend's folks. I do not know how to feel...  I guess this is a first for me, in it's own way.  I have no idea what to think of her father, or his opinions on me, since I have not even spoken to him on the phone.  And I feel her mother seems to regard me with suspicion and unease. I believe that I, at times, can have a pure silver tongue, but tomorrow is making me question just how silver it is... Maybe I am making way too big a thing outta this, I hope I am, but then again, this weekend could turn out to be very interesting.  Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I would be there for nearly 3 days... *big breaths* I'll be fine I'm sure.  Besides, my Leto will be with me, how bad could it possibly be? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
2:53 am	An Attempt At a Happy Composition In my life there are some friends People who will laugh with me People who will cry with me People who, when needed, comfort me And appreciate it when I try to comfort them Simply seeing these people can put a smile on my face People I am glad to know, and whom I deeply appreciate People who truly hold me higher than I deserve People who try to understand And do not hold it against me when they cannot These wonderful people do all this for me And I try to do it for them These people make my life feel much more whole And I find comfort in knowing they are there, and that they care I love my friends My deepest thanks to all of you Written at the request of a dear friend. Current Music: Diana Krall - Dream a little dream & Just the way you are (Comment on this)
Monday, October 4th, 2004
12:58 am	A twist on a song. I wish to feel fingers brushing my shoulders I want a tempting touch to tingle my spine A pair of eyes to gaze into mine and invade my soul would be ever so nice These pleasures are forbidden to me, but I still wish them be mine I want to go out of my mind - lose control - be full of feelings at just the touch of a hand, the sound of a voice, a pair of eyes meeting mine Is it a sin? Is it a shame? Is there a tiger I need tame? My senses wish to play a dangerous game Will it all remain a dream to me? A dream without ending? Do I wish something unreal? If so I want it to be true Is romance such a strange notion? Is it only out of fairy tales? If that is true, I am but a frightened price who knows not what to do Do I trust it as fact? Do I risk it and believe? Either way theres no way to win All I know is I'm lost Should I start counting the cost? Will my emotions ever be in a spin? And though no ones to blame It's a crime and a shame Oh how my senses wish to play a dangerous game For two to not need to speak Not one word For all the words are in their eyes For silence to speak Loud and clear All the words two wish to hear Will this dream ever be mine? At the touch of a hand At the sound of a voice At the moment two eyes meet mine I wish to go out of my mind Go out of control Be full of feelings I cannot define I'll commit this sin with no name I'll commit this crime even if shamed Even though the Angels proclaim It's a dangerous game p.s. After reading this over it occurred to me that the 'dangerous game' could be thought to be, or be seen as suicide, but it is not. The 'dangerous game' is a romantic relationship, or being in love, that type of thing. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 1st, 2004
12:42 pm	My heart hurts The pain brought it feels like a dagger But I know all too well that the pain is there not by something real But something not there at all I know that it is something special missing witch brings my heart such pain Something special I yearn for, long for, desire, in every passing day In the dark recessed depth of my mind, I see the pain as if it were like th moon. An enigma, lost, and alone in the night. The pain bites like a viper, it bleeds me like leeches, and burns more than all the fires of Hell There is nothing to ease the pain I find no solace in the drink, and only temporary company from my friends For when again in the dark I find myself, thinking of either of those will not bring me such happy pleasure as the special thing of witch my heart is missing. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 13th, 2004
2:01 pm	August 13, 1:37PM I a great time this past week working at my Aunts greenhouse in Welland. Now I feel so alone and depressed again. I do not know why. Not only was working there a good job experience, but it was a pretty good social experiance as well. There is no work for me today, suprise suprise. I will probably go to Stats tonight and sing some karaoke. Well, I think that is about all. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
8:30 pm	Robbie Williams - Supreme It seemed forever stopped today All the lonely hearts in London Caught a plane and flew away And all the best women are married All the handsome men are gay You feel deprived Yeah are you questioning your size? Is there a tumour in your humour, Are there bags under your eyes? Do you leave dents where you sit, Are you getting on a bit? Will you survive You must survive When there's no love in town This new century keeps bringing you down All the places you have been Trying to find a love supreme A love supreme Oh what are you really looking for? Another partner in your life to abuse and to adore? Is it lovey dovey stuff, Do you need a bit of rough? Get on your knees Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear 'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment That echoes in your ear Saying love will stop the pain Saying love will kill the fear Do you believe You must believe When there's no love in town This new century keeps bringing you down All the places you have been Trying to find a love supreme A love supreme I spy with my little eye Something beginning with (ah) Got my back up And now she's screaming So I've got to turn the track up Sit back and watch the royalties stack up I know this girl she likes to switch teams And I'm a fiend but I'm living for a love supreme When there's no love in town This new century keeps bringing you down All the places you have been Trying to find a love supreme A love supreme Come and live a love supreme Don't let it get you down Everybody lives for love Current Mood: lonely Current Music: See Above (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
2:52 pm	All the web's a stage And the trolls and techies merely players: They have their ip's and their isp's; And one troll in his time does many things, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Flooding and ranting with not too much skill And then the whining undergrad of Troll U Proclaiming the worlds unfairness to him Unwilling to be happy. And then the lover Sending lame cyber requests, with much repetition Made to find any mistress. Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths, and predictions of war, Hypocritical, sudden and quick to quarrel, Creating anomosity with Every other guest present. And then the hacker In fair round belly with always snacks and sitting, With eyes for worms, and trojans of great cut, Room full of disks and modem infultraters; And so he hacks the feds and into the sixth age shifts Into the lean and orange pantaloon, With shackles and nose broke to one side, His youthful hose well sav’d, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. Sorry about the ending, my mind went blank, I might work on that some other time. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 21st, 2004
11:02 pm	excerpt from the darkest night Lord from this world's stormy sea Give your hand for lifting me Lord lift me from the darkets night Lord lift me into the realm of light Lord lift me from this body's pain Lord lift me up and keep me sane Lord lift me from the things I dread Lord lift me from the living dead Lord lift me from the place I lie Lord lift me that I never die Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
3:55 pm	Todays new word... periphrasis [per-if-ra-siss] n, pl -rases [-ra-seez] roundabout speech or expression. periphrastic adj Current Mood: okay Current Music: Aerosmith - Blind Man (Comment on this)
1:28 am	My Desire I have a desire for something that cannot be. I know it cannot be, and for some time I have known that it cannot be. Yet this desire simply will not leave me. I have told my desire to stop wasting time, for it simply cannot be. But time and time again all it does is ignore me. I fear there is nothing that could turn the polarity of my desire, nothing save the threat of non-existence of it's object. But I fear that would not even work, for my desire is simply that queer. I should know better than to question God, but still I catch myself... both hands in the cookie jar. Was he wrong? Did he make an error? This desire cannot be mine, for it is so strong, and yet for me, impossible to fufill. So here I sit, with some strangers desire. Who has mine I wonder? If you have the desire that should be mine, I pray, please give it to me, I will pay it's bill. As for the one here with me, as long as it remains unclaimed, you can find it in my will. Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
1:16 am	You've come a' walking With a scar on your soul Taking too much too lightly And it is no wonder That you're feeling so cold Shivering so politely Chorus: Castaway, castaway You can find your way Castaway, castaway It will be okay You stand a' looking With a hurt in your eye Grey in the sky above you You'll feel much better If you go on and cry You've found Somebody Who will love you That is a song by a great, but unfortunately seldom heard of, artist, his name is Mark Heard. I remember liking this song ever since I was 5. My dad has all of Heards vinyl albums, and, once possible, bought all the CDs, so I have heard this mans music here and there while growing up. Really not overly often though, simply because of the enormously huge size of my dad's music collection. Well, I have liked Heard since a child, but this song is one of my favorites, and was as a child as well. After Heard died several years ago, a few artists put together a tribute album. The album had covers by such artists as Bruce Cockburn, Kevin Smith, Victoria Williams, and Rich Mullins just to name a few. Well, this various artists album is the only Mark Heard CD I actually own. But from time to time I do borrow the real things from my dad. Well, today I put the CD in, it had been a while since I had listened to it, not overly long though, just a few months. Well, when this song came up (performed by Bruce Carroll) it hit me hard. It has recently been brought to my attention, that I have been 'Taking too much too lightly' as Heard puts it. Everything I am referring to is in the past, either by about a two decades, or just half a decade. But all of it is very important. I did not quite understand and comprehend what I had been told, and am still not sure if I do, but hearing this song brought a bit of understanding, and possibly even focus. I do not know if possibly due to my early exposure to it this song has more meaning that it would others, but hearing it did more than if, say, hearing it, or reading it, for the first time would. As children we see things differently, we have a more simple view of the world. I have no doubt that when child A grows up, s/he will recall things meaning more than child B would if child A's exposer to it, or other things, (in youth) was greatly different than that of child B. I just can not figure out if that was the case today. I believe that years of not giving things the weigh they deserve has possibly callused me to understanding, or even comprehending the weight they, in reality, do have. Hypothetically, a child grows up with an in-humane amount of beatings and such. Their whole child-hood they believe this to be a normal life. How is that child, when grown, supposed to fully grasp the not-rightness of the life he grew up with? I mean, the child spent his whole youth thinking a life like that was normal, acceptable, and right, can such a belief be reversed simply because a few people tell him the reality of the situation? It would seem like a simple conclusion, but, find someway to apply it to you and your life, and I think you will agree with me that it really is not that easy to make. The most horrible part of wrongs not righted within a short time period, is that those wronged may have already accepted what has happened as merely a fact. Just another little bump, nothing more. 'No biggie'. Some people have the conviction to never, in their life, give up their belief of what happened was wrong. One example; some parents of victims of unsolved murders will push for the answers and justice they deserve till their dying day. Unfortunately, most of us will eventually believe the opposite. Well, I think I should end this post now, for fear that I may start to repeat myself a bit too much. Porter Current Music: Strong Hand of Love - A Tribute to Mark Heard (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
1:05 am	copy cat 2 last 72 hours x. cried = yup x. bought something = yup x. been sick = yup, damn sore throat and head hurting.... x. sang = Yup, just started to again, trying to recover from my sore throat, it did bad things to my voice x. said I love you = yes x. wanted to tell someone you loved them but didn't = yes x. met someone new = yes x. moved on = no x. talked to someone = yes x. missed someone = yes x. hugged someone = yes x. kissed someone = no x. fought with your parents = no x. dreamt about someone you can't be with = yes x. slept = last 72 hours?!?! Would friggin hope so... yes x. had sex = no x. been scared = no x. been told I love you = no Hrm, now that this thing is done, why do I not feel enlightened? I've been told these things have that and/or similar effect... Current Music: David Bowie - Space Oddity (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
3:40 pm	*smiles proud* So you think you know movies, eh? Extreme Movie Maven Two thumbs up. You really know your stuff. I am impressed. Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. Current Mood: proud (Comment on this)
3:50 am	Holy hell my roomate is drunk. I did not know it was possible to get that fucking drunk in a matter of hours, I had always assumed it would take half a day or so to get that drunk. How this guy managed to walk the two blocks home from the bar, I have no idea. I tried to tell him that him taking a shower right now is a bad idea, but this stubborn pack mule becomes 10 fold as stubborn when drunk. I found him almost dead at the top of the stairs... He was goin on about how I'm a fuckin good man for getting him the Feild of Dreams dvd for his birthday, and how, cause I went through the house and turned off all his lights, I am again a fuckin good man. Then he went on about how he needs a shower and a good fuck. He said that the shower he HAD to have tonight, but the 'good fuck' could wait till the morrow. God this guys goona be dead by noon, I swear. He once had alcohol poisoning for 3 days cause of half a pitcher. This is the most drunk I have ever seen him, I am betting he had like at least 5 pitchers. Oh geez, I can HEAR my shower being torn apart by that ogre in a stuper. Did you know that if slept in, smell is aparently impossible to get rid of? Well, it's true, ben told me, that is why he MUST take the shower before he goes to bed. I hope I still have an inact curtain rod when he's done... a tap that works would be nice too. Oh, there goes the curtain rod again, thats 5 times now I think... and he has only been in there for about 4 minutes... I truly do not envy the hangover that boy will have come the morrow. Current Music: Fiddler on the Roof OST (1 Comment |Comment on this)
3:10 am	What happend to spagetti-o's??? did they all just mutate and becoem zoodles and alpha-getti and scoobi-doo-o's, or was there some sort of war in which the alpha-getti, zoodles, and scoobi-doo-o's all ganged up on the poor spagettie-o's and replaced them on the shelves? Anyone remember that little jingle 'Uh oh, spaghetti-o's!'? (Comment on this)
1:16 am	The other day at the store I saw some lady back hand her kid cause he broght her a bag of chocolate with the question of 'can we buy this?' and he was hit so hard that he fell back on his ass. I was the only one lookin down the all but empty aisle and my jaw dropped, the lady looked up and said to me as I glared in disugust 'oh fuck off' and she dragged her kid away by the arm not even letting him up on his feet. Well, that whole thing reminded me of this song, and I've just recently been able to get to my dad's house to bum the cd off him. So, here are the lyrics, and, if you want, you can download the song. ( Read more... ) Here is where you can get the song, you have to right click and pick 'save target as' for it to work. http://www.mountaincable.net/~porter/lady.mp3 Current Mood: sad for socioty Current Music: Cameo - Word Up (yes, from the Saturn commercial) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2004
5:22 pm	Hugs A hug can make the tears flow A hug can make the tears stop A hug can fill one with warmth And frighten away the most bitter of chills A gesture of kindness A symbol of friendship I dunno what to say Friend But thanks for the hug (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 12th, 2004
3:25 pm	Am I truly so cruel and empty? A friend hath just accused me of finding pleasure and self worth in the feeling of being superior over others. At first I gave no thought to the validity or truth of the accusation, but mere moments later I caught mine self wondering and puzzling over it's validity. To those of you that truly know me, I beg thee to give thine opinion. I had once believed that mine self esteem and self confidence would put me above, if nothing else, finding pleasure in the sorrow of others, but I now no longer know if tis truly true. I am brought to tears by the prospect of what could be my true nature, and I feel shaken to my core, and left feeling horribly fragile. Current Mood: Shaken, and fragile Current Music: The silence of mine oun thoughts. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:56 pm	As if you were born into a world of tears, you always tend to look at the darker things in life. Inside you crave attention yet push away society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn to things like the occult and mysteries, you spend your time daydreaming. What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla Oh boy, why does this scare me so, and yet ring so true? Current Music: You got it - Whoopi Goldberg - Boys on the Side Sndtrk (1 Comment |Comment on this)